Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Oh, Baby!

I do not believe in fate. I do not believe in astrological signs, star charts, destiny, or luck. I do believe in god, but I do not believe that god has a plan for me. She may have a will, but she certainly has bigger issues to address than my weird career trajectory and my suburban ennui.

But in the wake of the indefinite postponement of our move to Belgium, my dearest friends assured me that a wonderful path awaits me, with or without the European adventure. Their confidence that this would turn out for the best, that the universe knows what it is doing, did not dimish my sadness. Many dear friends have said, "Kelly, everything happens for a reason. You may not know what that is now, but you will, and when you do, it will make sense."

It didn't exactly comfort me to hear this because, as a guiding principle, I reject it. But boy, did it make me laugh. For despite my belief in reason, in science, in math and probability and free will and plain old chance, I did have a good reason to believe that this change of plans may be convenient.


We discovered two days after our move was postponed that we will be welcoming a baby into our home in mid-August. How about that?

Would we have made a transatlantic move with a baby expected? Yes, most assuredly. We moved from San Francisco to DC when I was six months pregnant with Ethan, and we made that move without the conveniences and budget the Belgium move would have offered. Seasoned movers that we are, we would have been fine. (Our parents, though, may have disowned us or preemptively sued for custody of the new grandbaby.)


Does the excitement of a new baby mitigate my disappointment, my suburban stuckness? No, not entirely. It remains a heartbreak for me every day.


But the joy of anticipation that Scott and I share for a child we have wanted for a long time is a wonderful thing.

3 comments:

David Hobby said...

Woo HOOOOOO!

First commenter on such an auspicious post. (And I am thrilled for your new baby news, too, of course.)

:)

Only question is who is going to be outnumbered come August? Ethan or Ellie?

Congrats from the Hobby house. Ben and Em both went slack-jawed at the news.


Sleep while you can,
David

Kelly said...

Congratulations! You don't have the move, but this is pretty close in excitement factor.

Unknown said...

I'm so excited to be an uncle once again, and julia is excited not to be the youngest. Oh, and I'm LMFWAO!